Later that day, after seeing a movie I received a voicemail saying Pockets Ashes were ready to be picked up.. my heart sunk. I don't know why but I was scared. I also thought it was weird how they said his ashes are ready to be picked up.. it almost upset me how the girl said it in the voicemail. I was standing next to my mom and she asked me what was wrong... I had her listen to the voicemail she instantly started to cry with me. We then went and found jordan and he saw us crying and we had him listen to the voicemail. My dad hugged my mom as she told him and Jordan just hugged me. We were at the movie theater and it was so crowded but at that moment it seemed like it was just us...
We began to drive home and jordan asked what I want to do. I told him I wanted Pocket to celebrate the new year with us. We got to my parents and asked if they would come with us. My mom said she can't and began to cry.. My dad said he will drive us.
As we got closer to AVC- the same place we were a week and a day ago giving our Pocket our last kisses... My heart was freaking out. I kept telling myself to breath and to stay calm. I the said a prayer to Pocket, Grandma, and our heavenly father to please keep me calm and to help me remember it is just his shell and his spirit is in heaven watching over me...
We parked outside and my Dad and Jordan asked if I was ready. I opened the door and jordan grabbed my hand and walked me into the building. I then thought.. what do I say I am here for? I had never ever seen the receptionists that were there... they looked at me confused as well.. So, I said exactly what the girl had said in the voicemail. "I am here to pick up Pocket's ashes." I eyes started instantly tearing up. Jordan grabbed me and hugged me. The receptionist had walked to the back and when she came back she was hold a very nice looking paper bag. On the bag it said family animal services of Utah. I grabbed it from her.. it was so light. I tried to open it to see Pocket.. Jordan told me to wait until we got into the car. Tears just kept rolling down my face.. The receptionists then gave me Pocket's pillow and I lost it. I put the paper bag that held Pocket on the pillow and walked out to the car.
As soon as I sat down I opened the ribbon and opened the bag. I then saw the sweetest, tiniest, and cutest wooden box. I pulled it out of the bag gently and kissed it. Jordan and I began to cry in the back seat while my dad was in the front crying with us. My dad kept saying "I am so sorry Denise"... For some reason I felt more calm. He was with me and no longer needed to be in a hospital away from me. I think we made a good choice getting him cremated because he is in our warm house with us, not in the cold ground where we can only visit him. He is now forever going to be with me.
I held Pocket's box on my lap along with his blanket and pillow. I honestly was petting the box imagining Pocket... and he was so happy to be back in my arms too.
We got home and I could see my mom in the kitchen trying to distract herself. I walked in and sat on the couch.. Jordan got to my mother to tell her Pocket is home and she instantly started crying and Jordan hugged her (Talk about an emotional week) My dad then went to hug her and Jordan came and sat next to me. My mom eventually made it over to sit next to me and we both had tears streaming down our face. She put her hand on Pocket's wooden box and cried. My dad says I think Denise made the right choice because he is here to celebrate the new year with us....
We celebrated and watched fireworks for the first time in 13 years... We would usually be in a closet with Pocket or in the mountains away from the fireworks. We held Pocket and together we watch the sky light up- New years is so much cooler now that the awesome fireworks are legal!
I have been much more calm with Pocket home- here and in heaven. I miss him and there is not a second that goes by that I don't think of him... But, I know he is happy, healthy, safe and watching over us :)
My best Friend Sarah gave me this angel and said "I hope this will help remind you that you will be re-united with Pocket again." Here is another wonderful poem about loosing your pet... Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. | |
| All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind (except we know Pocket is with grandma, and jordan's brother & sister).They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... -Author Unknown...  | |
